Red Sox Announce Opening Day Lineup

The Red Sox have announced their opening day lineup to the media this morning and it looks like this:

1. CF Ellsbury

2. 2B Pedroia
3. LF Crawford
4. 3B Youkilis
5. 1B Gonzalez
6. DH Ortiz
7. RF Cameron
8. C Saltalamacchia
9. SS Scutaro

P Lester

Take a good look at it. Revel in it's glory. Remember this feeling and savor it. Expectations for that lineup are as high as an elephant's eye and pretty much everybody who's ever written anything about baseball has picked the Red Sox to win the East, the AL, the World Series, the World Baseball Classic, the Futures Game, and the MTV Rock N Jock Softball challenge.

That being said, amidst all of the otherworldly predictions and projections this team might not be as bulletproof as everyone thinks.

For all of the ballyhooed free agent signings and trades that took place this offseason, there were a couple of things that did not change. Their names are Josh Beckett, Jon Lackey, and Jonathan Papelbon. Those three arms are expected to equal a significant portion of Red Sox innings pitched this season and frankly there is no real reason to expect drastic improvements.

Baseball Prospectus disagrees with me, however, as they have both Beckett, Lackey, and Papelbon bouncing back this season. BP also is predicting a regression from Clay Bucchholz and an increase in both ERA and WHIP from Jon Lester, not to mention 7 less wins for Lester than last season.

I'm not too worried about the pitching, though, because I feel like even if the bottom of the rotation doesn't impress the top still makes them a top 5 rotation in the majors. There is not much to bellyache about in the lineup either, although I cannot quite wrap my head around Crawford in the 3 spot all season long.

In theory, he's a great #3 hitter because a.) he's a fine hitter in his own right and b.) he sets the table for the ensuing pitcher's nightmare of Youkilis, Gonzalez, and Ortiz but I don't know. I'm of the belief that Gonzalez is going to settle into the cleanup spot with relative ease and will likely have sewn it up by mid-May. There's just something about bringing in two new guys to hit in the Giant Glass sponsored GIANT part of the order that doesn't sit right with me. I also feel like there is more pressure on Crawford than there is on Gonzalez, because Gonzalez is being asked to do something he does every year, whereas Crawford will likely be expected to outperform his projections (BP has him at .290/.341/.444 with 44 SB). Not to mention there's a guy named Kevin Youkilis who is a much more patient hitter than Crawford (not to mention right-handed), lurking in the cleanup spot until Gonzalez takes it over.

Now, of course the Cleveland Indians would love to have a problem like "Who to hit 3rd in the lineup, Kevin Youkilis or Carl Crawford" and if this is a problem there really isn't a problem but there is going to be a lot of pressure on the Sox this year, like there is with any team that gets universally predicted to breeze through a grueling professional athletic season. There will be hiccups, there will be slumps. There will be poor pitching performances, there will be blown saves, and there will be costly errors.

That being said, here is my predicted final standings for the 2011 AL East:

Boston 151-11
Tampa 82-80
Toronto 75-87
Baltimore 66-96
New York 25-137



Play Ball.


-Judge

Statement Made

 

From Johnny Boychuk's heat-seeking wrister in the first minute to Tyler Seguin's roof shot just after time expired the Bruins had one message for the rest of the league last night as they routed the Habs:  B Afraid.

Zdeno Chara shined the brightest last night, securing the 1 star with his 3 assists and inspired play on defense.  After the game he simply said "The game on the ice, that was my first priority."  He was not alone.  The entire Bruins team was focused last night.  They were sharp, they were alert, they were crafty, and they were on target.   The game resembled a 60 minute Boston power play, and the Bruins now sit poised to bulldoze their way into the playoffs with a big old chip on their shoulder.


Tim Thomas had a fine game but was only challenged a few times, the Boston defense was physical, but not overly so.  They chipped passes, they timed their hits, they threw a wrench in Montreal's offense that the Habs were never able to remove.   On offense, the Bruins were just marvelous.   They peppered the overworked Carey Price with 18 shots in t he first period, netting 3.   In the second period they added 11 more shots but failed to score, however,  the Habs never got off the mat.  The  fifth minute of the third period opened with two more goals for Boston, a wrister from Horton, his second of the game, and a tip-in by Adam McQuaid at 4:03 and 4:29, respectively.   The McQuaid goal chased Price from the net and gave us a rare Alex Auld sighting.  He did not fair much better, as the Bruins managed to light him up twice and end the game with an even touchdown, 7-0.

 

With the victory, the B's have now moved to 5 points ahead of Montreal in the Northeast and barring a major meltdown have all but sewn up the division.   The warning flags were flying high and proud lately but after a tumultuous week the Bruins seem to be hitting their stride.   They won their last two games against two tough teams by a combined score of 11-1.  The Habs, meanwhile, are on a two game shutout, having lost to Buffalo and now Boston by a combined score of 9-0.

Last night, the Bruins did what few imagined they could do.  They routed the Montreal Canadiens while not even approaching goon status.   They were faster, stronger, and more confident, and they got the Habs out of their game early and never let them back in.  When Campbell broke away while the B's were two men short and fired one past Auld for lucky number 7, the statement had been made.

The Bruins told everyone in the building and watching around the league that when they're on, they can beat you any way they want.   With the playoffs right around the corner, I think everyone from Montreal to Miami heard them loud and clear.

 

-Christian Arcand

email: CArcand@bostonsportsradio.net

I'll Stop The World

There's a commercial on tv that I really can't stand. It's for Hershey's chocolate, you have probably seen it.

This commercial bothers me because of the absolute butcher job those singers do on Modern English's "I Melt With You".

I know, right? Of all the songs to pick this fight with this one might be the corniest of all.

Modern English was a British New Wave band in the 80s that disappeared as quickly as they had arrived. In digging I found out that they recently reunited and actually toured last summer. That must've been a fun show. That's the kind of show you get really pumped up to check out, too. Like you can't wait to geek out when someone asks you what you're up to this weekend.....

"Where ya goin tonight, Christian?"

"MODERN ENGLISH PLAYIN AT THE CENTRUM, BRAH!!!!"

"Wow."

"I Melt With You" was Modern English's only hit. It was ranked 39th on VH1's best 100 songs of the 80s and it's been covered by dozens of artists.

I don't know why I care that Hershey's decided to use it in their ad either, as that very song has been used in ads by Burger King, Ritz Crackers, , M&M's, Taco Bell, and Vicks.

I've seen some of these ads, not all of them, but the one's that I have seen use the song as performed by Modern English, while this Hershey's one uses guest vocalists.

I don't know, maybe it's the soulless warble of the (I'm assuming) little girl who sings the first part, maybe it's the way "I'll melt with you" is echoed by another equally soulless (again, I'm assuming) older singer before they join together in a duet that just makes you want to kill yourself. They manage to absolutely slaughter a song that frankly, I didn't even really like that much to begin with.

Maybe it's the fact that the ad is on all the time. Maybe it's the unsettling expressions on the faces of the chocolate people in this strange little world that Hershey's has brought to our living rooms with this ad campaign. I get what they're going for, here. There's a woman and a small child jumping on a trampoline and then morphing into a big chocolate pool. Family. Togetherness. Times are tough. Appreciate the nice things in life. Playing with your daughter, eating Hershey's chocolate. I get it.

I guess the problem I have is that if you're going to cover a song for your ad campaign, try a little harder. Do the original at least a little bit of justice. I know the emotion Hershey's was going for here probably wasn't "British 80s New Wave" or anything but to take a song that was already pretty cheesy and turn it into THAT is just offensive.

I liken this to when the Black Eyed Peas started making this hilarious excuse for music that they've been doing for the past, I dunno, decade now.... (Jesus, really? It's been 11 years since Bridging The Gap? Yeesh) The Peas had a couple of good songs, but it's not like they were exactly beacons of hip hop integrity or anything. Sure, I miss the "BEP Empire" days but it wasn't surprising. It would've surprised me if Dead Prez did it, not the Black Eyed Peas.

It's kind of the same thing with 'I Melt With You'. The song didn't have a whole lot of integrity to begin with. For example, we all know the meandering, seemingly endless chorus, but these are the lyrics that open the song:

Moving forward using all my breath
Making love to you was never second best
I saw the world thrashing all around your face
Never really knowing it was always mesh and lace

This isn't exactly Bowie, here. It's not a bad song, or anything, it's just campy. It's everything the 80s were, and I know there are about 5 million songs that you can say that about but, well, "I Melt With You" is one of them.

That being said, "I Melt With You" deserved better than to get butchered by Hershey's like that. It's a fine song from an oft misunderstood era in music. An era that brought us everyone from the Talking Heads and U2 to the Divinyls and A-ha. An era littered with one-hit wonders and words like "synth" and "new wave". It wasn't perfect, but it was it's own thing. It wasn't a Hershey's commercial. It wasn't a mother-daughter duet.

I'm sure Modern English is crying all the way to the bank over this grotesque usage of their only hit. I'm sure that as they're drying their tears with their royalty checks they feel a shame only known to those who have seen their art become something cheap and kitschy. In other words, I'm sure Modern English doesn't give a fuck. And frankly, I shouldn't either, but for some dumb reason I kinda do. There is so much wrong in the world right now that I should write about if I'm gonna be writing about things that bother me but for some reason this just kinda sprung to mind today while I was watching college basketball.

By the way, St. John's, my pick in every bracket I entered this year to win the entire tournament, (thanks in part to my cousin's former clairvoyance as well as how easily they were able to get to the refs for that Rutgers game in the Big East tournament) lost already.

In the first round.

First goddamn round.

Anyways, that's all for today. Here's a tune to end on. Take a second to listen and appreciate it. It's not great, but I've seen the difference, and it's getting better, all the time.

-Judge

What's Wrong With The Celtics?

This post is perhaps a tad reactionary, however, my concern for the Celtics is at a very high level right now. They've lost three of their last four games to teams they should have beaten easily. We thought we were out of the woods when they laid a beating on Milwaukee Sunday, but as they are prone to doing on the second night of a back-to-back the C's laid an egg last night at the Prudential Center, falling to the new look, yet still 22-43, New Jersey Nets.

Are the Celtics feeling the effects of the Perkins trade? Well, yes and no.

Yes, with Kendrick Perkins in the middle, DeAndre Jordan probably would not have been dunking all over everyone like Wilt Chamberlain in high school last week in the Celtics 108-103 loss to the Clippers.

Although in fairness, Nenad Krstic has been a huge surprise thus far for Boston. It's been a while since we've seen an effective post game from the center position. The guy's not Robert Parish or anything but he has soft hands around the basket and can hit jumpers. His offensive rebounding alone has made up for what he lacks on defense in my opinion. The fact that he can score is an added bonus.

No, the loss of a hobbled Perkins and replacement with Krstic and the immortal Delbarton High alumnus Troy Murphy has not been what's ailing these guys. It's the loss of Nate Robinson.

Ok not really, but hear me out, here. Since Nate was traded on the 24th Rajon Rondo has been playing a lot. Maybe a bit too much. Not only are his minutes up he is on pace to score fewer points this year than he did in 07-08 and his free throw attempts are down dramatically. I have to believe that there's something wrong with Rondo, and thus, something very wrong with the Celtics.

We all know that scoring is not a huge part of Rondo's game, but driving to the basket certainly is, and even though his FT % is pretty bad he was still getting in the paint and getting to the line. This year his FT attempts are way down along with his scoring. For Rondo to be playing so often with a large piece of his offensive game absent is troubling. He is not sharp out there, he is not aggressive. He may be trying to play through an injury, in which case that is a different story but for god sake if he's hurt get him off the court.

I can deal with losing the one seed in the east but I cannot deal with having a hobbled Rajon Rondo come playoff time, and the Celtics can't either. Brrrrrr. The thought of it makes me shiver.

If you think the absence of Perk, or KG, or whomever was a real issue the past two postseasons just think about what this team will look like in a playoff series with Carlos Arroyo and Avery Bradley splitting point guard duties.

Carlos Arroyo hasn't been bad, either. But he's not a reasonable option at point if Rondo goes down. Nate wasn't either, really. But he could do things on the court that Rondo couldn't do, like shoot, for example. Arroyo does everything Rondo does, just not nearly as well. Avery Bradley doesn't really do anything yet, and Delonte West just can't stay healthy.

Whatever is bugging Rondo, I hope it clears up soon, and if he needs to sit, let him sit. There's still another month of basketball before the postseason gets here and this team is going to be relying heavily on Rondo this postseason just like they do every postseason, and every postseason Rondo shows why he's arguably the most valuable PG in the league. However, there's something wrong with him and all we can do is join hands and pray to the basketball gods that whatever it is its gone by April 13th. Otherwise this team is in a lot of trouble.

Then again, I think the Bulls are going to win it all this year anyway, no matter what happens with Rondo. I'm calling it now. Chicago is the most complete team in the league and I don't think it's close.

Also, I filled out my brackets today, I have St. John's winning in every pool I'm in for 2 reasons.

1.) They got to those three refs in the Big East tournament, they can get to everyone.

2.) My cousin picked them and my cousin is a freaking sports-picking rainman. He called the Texas/SF World Series, he called Green Bay winning the Super Bowl when the playoffs started and they barely squeaked in. I don't understand it. I think he's a wizard. Or an old version of himself came back in time and gave him the Gray's Sports Almanac. Or both.

Of course, now I probably jinxed him, but whatever, he was getting cocky.

-Judge

Zdeno Chara

On Tuesday night (March 8th) I was sitting on my couch watching the Bruins game. They were playing Montreal, one of their toughest match-ups, and they were just one OT loss to Pittsburgh removed from a 6 game road trip in which they won all 6 away games. A rare feat for any team in today's NHL.

The last time these two teams played was almost exactly a month ago in Boston, and they combined for 187 penalty minutes. The Bruins won 8-6, and the penalty boxes were overflowing with 5 minute fighting majors.

Well, the B's didn't have it on Tuesday. They were slow, they were clumsy, they made bad mistakes and they were totally unable to play their style of hockey effectively, while the Habs were doing everything right. They were faster, sharper, and way more organized than Boston on Tuesday. They managed to put 4 goals past the rusty Tuukka Rask by the second period.

Then, as I'm sure most of you have seen already, something horrible happened. The Bruins had the puck in Montreal's zone and were attempting to set up their offense when an errant pass dribbled up the left side. Zdeno Chara, Boston's larger than life defenseman, turned and made a beeline for the puck as it drifted back towards Boston territory.

As Chara turned, the speedy Montreal forward Max Pacioretty broke for the puck as well, trying to get around Chara's outside shoulder with an opportunity for a breakaway. Chara, who was now facing down ice, could sense Pacioretty coming up behind him and stuck his left arm out to slow him down. As the two men glided towards the boards, Chara finished his check by shoving Pacioretty towards the bench. Except on that one part of the rink, there is no board between player and bench, however there is a turnbuckle separating the two opposing benches. As Chara followed through on his check, Pacioretty's head went full speed into the turnbuckle.

The sound it made was haunting. It sounded like a slapshot hitting the crossbar. Chara's momentum took him past the Montreal bench which rose as one in reaction to the horrible sound. Pacioretty's momentum into the turnbuckle snapped his entire body around like a helicopter blade and he lifelessly fell to the ice. The camera zoomed in on Pacioretty as the Bruins commentators began immediately discussing if the hit was dirty or not. Pacioretty was not moving. He was face down on the ice but his head was tilted slightly so the viewer could see his face. His eyes were closed, there was drool coming out of his mouth, and he was completely non-responsive. The Bruins announcers took in this image and the tone of their chatter went from the legalities of the actual hit to "we really hope Max Pacioretty is ok", and though neither one of them said it, everyone watching thought the same thing : "I think Chara just killed Max Pacioretty"

Max Pacioretty was drafted by the Canadiens in the 2007 entry draft after an impressive career at Michigan. He was a stud in the AHL and was making some very positive contributions to the Habs this season. In a game 2 months ago, Pacioretty scored a goal on a nice wrister in OT to beat Boston and after scoring the game winner he shoved Chara as big Z skated away. Chara then skated up to the celebrating Montreal team and started challenging them even though the game was over. It ended pretty quickly and nothing really happened, just a chippy end to a game between to staunch rivals.

When Max Pacioretty woke up from the hit on Tuesday they were carrying him off the ice. Doctors who saw the hit as it happened didn't want to examine Pacioretty because of how gruesome it looked. Pacioretty was examined and diagnosed with a grade 4 concussion(which I was not even aware existed, I thought it only went up to 3), and a broken 4th vertebrae. The latter injury is oftentimes of the life-ending variety. However, Pacioretty was responding to questions and was able to move his arms and legs at the hospital.

From his hospital bed, Pacioretty expressed disappointment over the fact that Chara was not suspended. He was given a game misconduct but was not suspended by the league. They reviewed the hit, and determined that Chara did not intend to hurt Pacioretty. Pacioretty said that he thought Chara did it to him on purpose.

Zdeno Chara is the biggest player in the league. Literally. He is 6'9 without skates and with them he's over 7 feet. His presence on the ice is intimidating before he even puts his stick down. Chara's style of play has caused much frustration for Boston fans because while he is an elite defenseman with a murderous slapshot he doesn't generally play as big as he is. Especially not on Tuesday, March 8th. The Habs were skating circles around him and the Boston defense that night, lining up one-timers and sneaking in for rebounds almost at will while the Bruins struggled to stay in front of them.

One thing that I've heard a lot lately is that Chara should have known where he was on the ice and that he should have taken that into consideration before finishing his check. Well doesn't the same thing apply to Pacioretty to some extent? He knew he was skating along Chara's outside shoulder and that Chara wasn't going to just let him break away to the puck, yet he was going full speed in that direction knowing just as well as Chara knew that there was a big metal turnbuckle just a few feet away. Another thing to consider is that Chara was not facing the boards, or Pacioretty when he made the hit. He was facing up ice.

I know Montreal doesn't want to hear it, but the NHL did the right thing here. Chara's no headhunter, and he certainly doesn't ever try to injure people, if anything he's the opposite. The antithesis of a guy like Chris Pronger who throws his size around and does whatever he wants. Chara plays like he is very aware of his size and strength on the ice and sometimes goes out of his way to contain himself, because a reckless hit from a 7 footer is a little different from your average reckless hit. There are guys in the league like Matt Cooke who look for opportunities to injure people, guys like Sean Avery and Steve Downie who cheap shot opponents like it's going out of style. Chara has never been one of those guys. Chara could never be Chris Simon. It's just not in his makeup as a hockey player, and the people who were in charge of making this decision most definitely knew it.

In 2007 Patrice Bergeron was boarded head first by then Philadelphia defenseman Randy Jones. Bergeron was taken off on a stretcher and missed the rest of the season. Jones apologized at the next intermission. It was clear to me that he didn't mean to hurt Bergeron. I was pissed off that Bergeron was out for the year, and pissed at Jones because he was the reason, but I also understood that it wasn't that bad of a hit and that Jones was not the type of player who tries to injure his opponents.

What Chara was guilty of was interference. You can't impede the progress of a player without the puck like that. It's a 2 minute minor penalty, and Chara was smart to risk it with a speedy guy like Pacioretty about to blow past him. It was a heartbreaking result of a normal hockey play that just happened to occur at the worst possible place on the ice.

It is unclear as of this posting if Pacioretty will ever be able to play hockey again, although I hope he recovers, I'm sure Zdeno Chara hopes that he does as well. After the play, they cut to Chara a few times before he was escorted out for his game misconduct and the look on his face was pretty telling. He had checked a fleeing forward like that a million times, never once did he probably even consider that he might accidentally throw a guy's head into the turnbuckle, but he did.

However, I would say to those angry at Chara to keep in mind that they all play an incredibly fast, incredibly violent game. And there are players who actually go out of their way to hurt people in the league. Chara isn't one of them, save the hate for the ones who deserve it.

-Judge

Hate Speech

I watched a video the other day that really bugged the crap out of me. There was a fundraiser in Yorba Linda, California about a month ago which was held by ICNA Relief, a Muslim relief organization. The event was protested heavily. A video of the protesters began circulating and has no gone full-on viral, here it is :

Outrageous, right? Yelling at kids and families like that? Absolutely no excuse for such disgusting behavior.

That being said, I have no problem with people protesting this event.

ICNA Relief is a noble organization that does some wonderful charity work, however, the keynote speak for the fundraiser was this guy:

So.....yeah.

Those people walking into a fundraiser did not deserve to get screamed at by a bunch of dickbag tea party assholes but what in the holy hell is the ICNA doing inviting Abdel Malik Ali to speak at their dinner?

In a nutshell, a bunch of assholes acted like assholes over the fact that some other asshole was speaking at a fundraiser. Wonderful.

I see nothing wrong with people protesting an event where Abdel Malik Ali is a keynote speaker. I'll just never understand how acting like an even bigger jerkoff than the guy you're protesting makes any sense whatsoever.

This is why we can't have nice things.

-Judge

Wes Leonard

I'm sure this story will have made it around the internet by tonight (I just saw a segment on it on Sportscenter this morning) but Fennville high school basketball player Wes Leonard hit a game winning shot to propel his Blackhawks to victory over the Bridgman Bees. The victory also put the Blackhawks record at 20-0. Twenty wins, zero losses. And it was Wes Leonard who sealed their place in Michigan Class C history.

After the game he was hoisted in the air by his teammates. The packed Fennville gymnasium erupted as their boys clinched a perfect season. During the celebration, Leonard went into cardiac arrest and collapsed in front of his teammates as well as a stunned audience of just previously giddy Fennville fans.

He was rushed to a local hospital where he died a few hours later. The cause of death is not yet known.

That picture is from the post-game celebration. One second he was smiling in the air with his teammates and the next second he was gone. For that family to lose a son at 16 is absolutely devastating. Nothing will ever replace the void Wes will leave in their lives, and nothing anyone can say or do will ever soften the blow of losing their boy. Although if they ever reach the point of being able to take solace in any part of this tragic loss I would hope that they see the beauty in the way Wes Leonard died.

It is certainly not something that is readily noticeable. Especially not right now, as all of the future buzzer beaters, birthdays, graduations, jobs, first cars, first apartments, and first dates have been erased. For a kid that young to die so unexpectedly, there is nothing in the world that makes any sense about it. Especially a kid as healthy and impressive as Wes Leonard. The only thing about Leonard's death that is not saddening is that Wes Leonard died a winner.

It doesn't seem like much, however the last thing Wes Leonard did in his life was win. His game winning shot completed an undefeated season for the Blackhawks. His last memory will be of winning the game. Nobody can ever take that away from him, either. People will remember the story of Wes Leonard for generations. It is a terribly sad story, yet Wes Leonard's name will forever be associated with winning, and not Charlie Sheen's interpretation of winning. Actual winning.

I hit a game winning shot for my middle school JV basketball team when I was 12 and let me just tell you that few things in the world will ever feel as good as that felt. If I had dropped dead on that gym floor back in 1995 I would have died with a giant smile on my face. Nothing in the world feels quite like that, especially at that age.

Wes Leonard went out on top. When people talk about Wes Leonard, they are going to talk about what could have been, and how sad it is that it never will. They are also going to talk about how right before he died he started off going left before crossing over to his right hand and blowing by his defender to the hoop where he softly laid the ball up and through the net to seal his team's undefeated season. They will talk about how he won the game for the Blackhawks.

Now, I don't necessarily subscribe to the theory of "Winning Is Everything" and I hope my sentiments aren't coming off that way. Winning is important, but so is losing. Life is all about winning and losing and most of us just want to win a few more than we lose before they put us in the ground.

Wes Leonard went out a winner. And really, that's all any of us are trying to do.

RIP Wes Leonard

-Judge

All He Does Is Win

I didn't watch the Charlie Sheen 20/20 special. I didn't watch it for a couple of reasons.

#1

Absolutely no need to, because everybody I know and even a good chunk of people whom I do not know have been belting out Sheen's "greatest hits" all over the internet. It's like the "Borat-quoting" phenomenon on steroids. Balco steroids. The good stuff. I've seriously heard or read every single thing this man has said in public for the past 72 hours every time I look at my computer screen, phone, tv screen, or turn on my radio. I mean, seriously.

#2

I'm not all that into this Charlie Sheen thing. I'm just not. I realize I'm fighting an uphill battle here but I think this entire Charlie Sheen saga is pretty sad. It's either sad for us because he's doing a schtick and we're all falling for it or it's sad for him because he's got some serious issues dealing with his need to self-medicate which are likely tied into some sort of disorder that deals with an extreme of moods.

It's an extreme uphill battle I'm fighting because let's face it, Sheen is gold right now. It does not even matter who is putting the microphone under him he is just a blathering rapid-fire coke-jaw goldmine of comedic brilliance as he stands proudly upon his mountain of drugs with his nose in the air, defying all 21st century stereotypes of what a person with a crippling personality disorder and even more crippling drug addiction should look like.

I'm not into it because part of me really feels bad for the guy.

I don't like watching car wrecks. When I see a car crash on the side of the road I try not to look at it, I don't want to see a dead body that badly.

And with Sheen it's like he hasn't even crashed yet, it's like we're watching him snowmobile down Mount Everest with no breaks and are just waiting to see where his body ends up.

I'm not mad at people who are enjoying the Sheen because let's face it, this is a genuinely rare time in American pop culture. Charlie's out there, rolled up hundo in one hand and Bree Olson in the other, and we all have to deal with it.

I guess I've just seen things similar to this in the past, not too similar, because I mean, what in the hell could possibly be similar to Charlie Sheen over the past week? But similar in that I've been around people who exhibit self-destructive tendencies and fall into these addictions and it always ends horribly.

And for all the fanfare Sheen's been getting people seem to forget that he got arrested for trying to knife a hooker, then he got kicked off his incredibly successful and financially lucrative television program, and now he's in the midst of a media blitz in which everyone observing thinks he's a retarded lunatic who will be dead soon.

Some call it winning, I call it morose. Po-tay-to, Po-tah-to

-Judge