The Andover High Hazing Incident - Sports Saturday W/Chris Arcand

From the December 3rd edition of Sports Saturday w/Chris Arcand. Chris and Joe discuss the hazing incident at Andover High.

Top 5 NFL Network Commercials

There is an ad on TV right now for the NFL Network where this guy is rolling from room to room on a desk chair while scanning his IPAD for NFL news and highlights until he rolls into his living room and watches football on his TV. As the camera pans out you see that each room is a square in a giant calendar which looks like it could have been a setpiece for Hollywood Squares. I can't find the video for it online anywhere but when I do I will update it, if you watch football, you've probably seen it. As the camera pans along the big live-in calendar this song plays:

It's an excellent ad, and it made me realize that NFL Network is basically a hit factory of advertising.

I am kind of obsessed with commercials. I work in production so it's true that you think about these things differently when it's part of your job but I have to say, the NFL ad people churn out consistently awesome and memorable commercials every year. Their music choices and editing are always impeccable. Here are some of my favorites.

5.)

"Being Rich Doesn't Suck"

I've never met Rich Eisen, but he's one of those guys you feel like you know when you see him on TV. In this ad, he is feeding footballs into a passing maching while Torry Holt makes wacky catches in the distance, sitting in a tub next to LT who is in another tub (which sorta makes it look like a Cialis commercial) appraising jewelry with Deuce McAllister and various other frivolous football related activities. Meanwhile Traffic's "Dear Mr. Fantasy" blares in the background. Great song, perfect pacing with the cuts and use of slo-mo. Eisen still hosts NFL Total Access and is an omnipresent figure on NFL Network. No coincidence that the partnership has turned out to be very lucrative for both sides.

4.)

"Back To Football"

Alright so "Home" by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes was a monster last year. It was everywhere. You couldn't get away from it. It got old eventually (the tipping point for me was that viral video of that guy and his daughter singing it to each other, spare me) but this ad was awesome. Leave it to NFL Network to seamlessly blend a hipster anthem in with the camaraderie and excitement of just going from your house to a football arena to create a pretty touching 30 seconds.

3.)

"Matt and Trey"

No music, no clever editing. Just Trey Parker and Matt Stone (fellow U of Colorado alumni) talking about how the Broncos were unable to win a Super Bowl until South Park came along. Just a couple of disgustingly rich football fans talking about their favorite team. If you watch South Park you can tell that Trey and Matt are bigtime football fans, (the Japanese warriors slaughtering the Miami Dolphins, the Bill BEEEEEEL-ichick episode, in the first season the kids all played football for their school etc.) and Trey's "Go Broncos" along with the thrusting of his giant foam finger is completely sincere and a reminder that even though you might be really busy creating a tv show, movies, songs, and Broadway musicals, on Sunday priorities shift dramatically.

2.)

"Time To Get Your Story Straight" - Series

Every year NFL Network makes a new ad like this, it's a pretty simple concept, yet so brilliant. It's just a smattering of NFL personalities and fans espousing their ill-fated preseason predictions on unsuspecting dentists, grocery store checkout clerks, fellow bar patrons, and dinner guests. It encapsulates the optimism and pride that comes every pre-season, and eventually dissipates for fans of most teams. These ads are very clever, and since there's a new one each year they never get old. They are a close second to number 1

1.)

"Tomorrow"

This is one of my favorite commercials of all time. It debuted during the 2004 Super Bowl and they made a follow up version the next year which was good but the original was the best. Jerry Jones singing to Bill Parcells, Warren Sapp's golfing attire, T.O. in the grocery store, it's just fantastic. And as Jerry Jones busts out into his crazy backflip routine at the end the words "As Of Tomorrow, We're All Undefeated Again", appear on screen to hold us over until training camp. Undefeated indeed, NFL Network, undefeated indeed.

So there it is, my dweebiest blog entry yet. Hope you enjoyed it.

Brandon Meriweather: We Hardly Knew Ye

In a surprise move to some, the Patriots released two-time Pro Bowl safety Brandon Meriweather this week in their final round of cuts. Meriweather's play at safety was always a point of contention among Pats fans, and both sides have a pretty good argument. On the one hand, Meriweather gets results. He hits hard and can read QB's well enough to make picks. His presence in a backfield can cause quarterbacks and receivers to totally change their game plan. The problem is, Brandon Meriweather is a gambler. Belichick's defense, especially in the backfield, doesn't allow for a whole lot of gambles. For every positive Meriweather brought to the defense you can argue a negative right back and both people engaged in the argument would be totally right.

In other words, Brandon "Big Bang Clock" Meriweather is a complete and utter enigma.

Horrible Bosses

I am really the last person in the world who should write a movie review. I absolutely suck at getting to the movie theater. I watch movies when they're on TV but in the past two or three years I have really been a terrible movie-goer. The last three movies I've seen in theaters were "No Strings Attached" (on a first date, not my idea) "Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes" (which had me fist-pumping in the theater like I was DJ Pauly D at the end when the gorilla jumped onto the helicopter. Quality flick, not perfect, but enjoyable.) and "Horrible Bosses", starring Jason Sudekis, Jason Bateman, and Portsmouth Abbey alumnus Charlie Day.

I am a huge fan of Arrested Development and Always Sunny so I was excited for this one, I rarely ever make it to the theater, so when I go and it's a movie I actually want to see I get real pumped up for it. Overall, I was disappointed with it because Jason Bateman basically just played Michael Bluth, Charlie Day played a slightly more grown-up Charlie from Always Sunny (and not nearly as disgusting) and we were supposed to believe that Jason Sudekis is a slick talking pickup artist. I think Sudekis is funny on SNL but he was basically the Bradley Cooper of this movie and Jason Sudekis is Jason Sudekis and not Bradley Cooper. He didn't work for me. I'll watch Bateman and Day in anything and they were both pretty good. They didn't show a whole lot of range in their performances but I'm sure that wasn't the intent. Kevin Spacey and Jennifer Aniston were so over the top ridiculous in their roles (and both pretty hilarious, to be fair) that Colin Farrel's portrayal of a balding cokehead was really the only actual performance that stood out to me.

There is a scene where Kevin Spacey (Jason Bateman's boss) is about to award a promotion to an employee at the company, a promotion that Bateman just so happens to be gunning for, does this sound familiar? He makes a long, drawn out speech then boom, no promotion for Michael. Here come the Security and Exchange Commision, (they have boats?) la-dee-da. Later, Charlie and Bateman accidentally do a pretty decent chunk of cocaine, which was funny, but about the 8 billionth time 'accidentally ingesting drugs' was used as a comedic plot device in cinema history. There really wasn't too much in the way of originality until the end which actually had me thinking that something really surprising was going to happen (spoiler alert: it didn't) but aside from that it was Charlie Day, Michael Bluth, and sorta Bradley Cooper all plotting to take down three versions of the exact same character. Even Jamie Foxx as "Over-The-Top-Black-Guy" was funny but just nothing new.

I kinda hate that I enjoyed Horrible Bosses as much as I did. There were a lot of very funny moments. All I have to do is think about Charlie in the car rocking out to "That's Not My Name" by the Ting-Tings and I start laughing no matter where I am. It just happened right now as I typed that actually. That scene was so funny that I actually went home and watched Youtube clips that someone who pirate-taped the movie put up. Charlie is awesome. Bateman playing Michael Bluth again was slightly less awesome(how's that Arrested Development movie coming along???) , but the gags just weren't that original, and Sudekis getting laid left and right just didn't sit right with me.

In the end, I liked it. I laughed a lot, which is why I paid the 12 bucks in the first place. I didn't want to think, I wanted to laugh. I just didn't like that two actors whose work I enjoy a great deal had to play their signature roles like that. I would have liked to see them act a little bit.

Genuine laughs, but nothing special. Although I do hope Charlie keeps getting movies. If you're an Always Sunny fan it is pretty outstanding how Charlie is getting movie roles while Dennis and Mac are just chillin' at Patty's. Oh yeah, and Mac got super fat for this next season. Awesome.

When does Mac's movie come out?

Check out Horrible Bosses, it's not great but it's funny and if you're not looking for much more

than some laughs it hits the spot.

Also, keep in mind, that I am literally the last person on earth that should write about movies. The last. On earth. Planet of the Apes and No Strings Attached. Seriously. I don't know why I thought this was a good idea. Back to sports next week. Promise.

-Judge

How To Talk To A Yankee Fan

My Favorite Websites

I figured I'd take this time today to big up some of my favorite online scribes and entertainers. Most of these guys and gals are pretty big-time at least by internet standards but I figured exposure never hurts so here are a few of my favorite websites, and why I like them:

The Dugout

The Dugout is a series of fictitious chatroom transcripts between major league baseball players. Yep. I'm a giant, monumental dork. And I don't care. I love this fucking website. The pictures, the usernames, the accents, pretty much everything about it is totally hilarious. The Dugout started off as a column on Progressive Boink made to look like a Peter Gammons ESPN.Com piece. The AOL chat log was a small part of the column but got such good feedback that it became a regular thing. It got so big that it had it's own URL "WordUpThome.com" which is the fictitious version of Jim Thome's screen name.

Three guys used to write it but now I think it's just two. It's pretty hard to describe why I like this so much, it's about as niche as niche can get but the fact that it's so over the top and offensive makes it must-read status for me.

There's one where Craig Biggio is getting hazed as the newest member of the 3,000 hit club and Ty Cobb takes it way too far and shoots him. Manny Ramirez and Jonathan Papelbon are pretty much 6 year olds who constantly want to play spies. The real stars of the show, however, are Kyle Farnsworth and Jim Thome, the former, a dim-witted, death-metal lovin' pyschopath who calls people by incorrect racial slurs and the latter a cherubic doofus with a heart of gold who always types in all caps and always hits "enter" before he's done typing. There is also a LadyCop who is constantly tormented by law-breaking ball players. Oh, and Dmitri Young. Holy shit, you gotta read the Dmitri Young dugouts, they are epic.

Snacks And Shit

Snacks And Shit is a blog that makes fun of weird rap lyrics. It's name is from the Jay-Z song "Hey Papi" in which Jay-Z declares that he and the young women he brought to One Trump Plaza did not order room service but instead opted for snacks, and shit.

Originally the blog was updated by an LA based comedian named Chris D'Elia who has since gone on to have a standup special on Comedy Central and was a regular character on the TBS show Glory Daze and a writer named Chris Macho who was in a Wheat Thins commercial where Wheat Thins encouraged people to follow him on Twitter.

Not every single entry is a home run but there is never a lack of material for these guys because there are just so many ridiculous rap lyrics. A lot of times it's weird slang that these guys gravitate towards which makes for some great material in the comment section where there is inevitably some e-thug explaining how when Jeezy calls himself a Snowman it's because he has lots of "ice" and also deals lots of "cocaine" and us criggady-crackas are too white too get it.

The Nostalgia Critic

The Nostalgia Critic is a guy named Doug who basically reviews things that people my age and a little younger used to watch when we were kids. From Saved By The Bell to Drop Dead Fred and Animaniacs and just about everything in between. This guy's work ethic is incredible. He puts out a new video every single week and they're consistently funny and creative. He does top 11 lists (to go one step beyond) and compares old movies with more modern remakes. He is very insightful and you can tell he really cares about this stuff he's reviewing. The editing is also incredible considering he churns these vids out once a week.

I've seen all of his videos and for some reason the one bit that made me laugh the hardest is in his review of Judge Dredd where Stallone and the dirty cop are screaming "LAW!!!!!!" at each other and the Critic busts into song, kinda hard to describe on the page so you'll just have to see for yourself : Judge Dredd Review .

I could write a lot more about the Nostalgia Critic but the guy is making a ton of money off his website and doesn't really need my help. That being said, I'm now moving on to a guy that is also very true of:

The Angry Nintendo Nerd

I know, I know, he's the "Angry Video Game Nerd" now but I don't care. When I first discovered this guy he was the Angry Nintendo Nerd and his videos were (and still are) fucking hilarious. He basically would find the worst NES games ever, play them, and then totally freak out about how much they sucked. This guy knows his stuff, too. He doesn't get too technical and alienate casual gamers or former NES-addicts that stopped playing video games when they got older, he manages to appeal to everyone.

His delivery is excellent and while he's not quite the showman that the Nostaliga Critic is he perfectly captures the early 90s frustration that went into renting a nintendo game for the weekend and having it totally suck. I rented Back To The Future, I rented Fester's Quest. We didn't have a Blockbuster in my town, we had a fucking VideoSmith and kids would rent all the good games and keep them pretty much forever. It was a different time, to say the least, and The Nerd brings me back to it every time he appears on my screen ranting and raving about how the Ninja Turtles shouldn't die when they fall in water because they are FUCKING TURTLES.

A valid point, indeed.

So there it is, none of this stuff is real high brow or anything but these guys all make me laugh and that's what the internet should really be all about. Clicking and laughing. Again, none of these guys are exactly unknowns they all have profitable websites that get a lot of traffic but they get all that attention for a reason and I enjoy their work a great deal.

Hope you enjoyed this little tour of my Bookmarks.

-Judge

Patriots Trade For Haynesworth, Release Stroud

-Chris Arcand (email Chris Arcand at CArcand@BostonSportsRadio.net)

In a pre-season stunner, the New England Patriots have acquired DT Albert Haynesworth from the Washington Redskins for a 2013 5th-round pick.

Haynesworth, a two-time Pro Bowler and one time Sporting News Defensive Player Of The Year, signed a 7-year 100 million dollar contract with the Washington Redskins in February of 2009. In 2010, Haynesworth was benched and then suspended by coach Mike Shanahan midway through the season for "conduct detrimental to the team", Haynesworth finished the 2010 season with 13 tackles and 2.5 sacks in 8 games. Despite the large contract, Washington has already paid most of it, leaving the Pats with a tab of roughly 7 million dollars to cover for Haynesworth services.

Haynesworth is most notably remembered for an incident in a 2006 game against the Dallas Cowboys in which he removed the helmet of Dallas Center Andre Gurode and then, while wearing spiked cleats, stomped on Gurode's exposed head, narrowly missing his eye. Gurode required 30 stitches above and below his eye. Haynesworth apologized after the game. Haynesworth was also involved in a traffic accident that left a 25 year-old-man paralyzed when he collided with Haynesworth's Ferrari which was traveling over 100 mph.

Oh yeah, and last season he failed the Redskins preseason conditioning test. Twice. Two times.

In other words, Albert Haynesworth is coming to New England with more baggage than an Orvis outlet store.

This is not the first time the Patriots have set off on a reclamation project. Nor is it the first time they have set off on a venture like this with an extremely talented, extremely troubled player on a dead-end team. In 2003 they sent a 2nd rounder to Cincinatti for Corey Dillon who had a monster season and won himself a shiny new Super Bowl ring in 2004. In 2007 they sent a 4th round pick to Oakland for Randy Moss who went on to have one of the best offensive seasons in NFL history. This trade has all the markings of a classic New England reclamation triumph. Since the money owed is minimal, the Patriots hold all the leverage, and if Haynesworth decides he doesn't feel like letting the ice cream cone go he can be released with nary a whimper on the cap hit side of things.

This news today was followed by a breaking story that the Patriots have released fellow defensive lineman Marcus Stroud, citing the fact that Stroud was unable to report to camp on time due to a shoulder injury. The position battles at camp for the starting D-Line spots are going to be epic this preseason. Vince Wilfork and Haynesworth battling it out with the guys who still have something to prove like Brandon Deadrick and Mike Wright. Oh, and Ty Warren will be back this season, after missing all of 2010.

True to form, Bill Belichick did not address the Haynesworth signing during his morning press conference today, deflecting questions about Haynesworth like Captain America except instead of a patriotic shield Bill wielded his mighty "the deal is not yet done" rampart to keep the Boston media corps on the edge of their seats.

Part of me hates this deal because I hate Albert Haynesworth, both as a player and as a person. That being said, with Belichick's track record trading for angry, borderline psychotic former superstars, I have a feeling I will get over it soon enough.

Say Goodnight To The Bad Guys

Sorry, I know. It's been like a month. There's been a lot going on so let's just jump right into it:

MIAMI LOSES THE NBA FINALS

Yes, Miami lost. Some team from Texas won. Doesn't matter who, but it was the Dallas Mavericks, since you asked. A team led by a gigantic German sharpshooter and a 33 year old 6 foot shooting guard from Seattle. A team that faced Miami back in 2006 when the Heat were actually a team people liked. A team that will be remembered more as "The Team That Was Also On The Court When The Miami Heat Lost The 2011 NBA Finals" than "2011 NBA Champions", which is hilarious. The fact that the unholy trinity of "Bron-Bron", "DWade" and "Chris Bosh" was denied what seemed to be their birthright is such a bigger story that it's almost kind of sad.

After the game, Lebron addressed the haters who wanted to see him fail (ie, "everyone not from Miami") by saying the following:

"All the people that was rooting on me to fail, at the end of the day they have to wake up tomorrow and have the same life that they had before they woke up today. They have the same personal problems they had today. I'm going to continue to live the way I want to live and continue to do the things that I want to do with me and my family and be happy with that."

He's got a point, too. All those people are indeed going to have to wake up this morning and have their same old lives. They will also wake up this morning with the same amount of championship rings as Lebron James.

Nice work, Dallas. Never thought I'd root for Jason Kidd. Nice to see the NBA go out on a high note before the labor situation takes center stage.

COME ON, BRUINS. JUST, COME ON.

You cannot let them win. The only team that deserves a championship trophy less than the Miami Heat are these Vancouver Canucks. They represent everything that is wrong with the NHL, and pro sports in general. They bite, they flop, they complain, they interfere with the goaltender. They're not tough, they're not honorable. They are literally the scum at the bottom of every used hockey sock ever worn. They are the reason that a majority of the country still does not take hockey seriously to the point where the postseason has been televised on a network that a lot of people still don't have. Who wants to watch a team like Vancouver play hockey? Who wants to watch a team like Vancouver do anything?

It's hard to really grasp how scummy and pathetic the Canucks are because they stand poised to win the Cup in Boston tonight. Which they won't, obviously. The Bruins humiliated Vancouver in Boston for games 3 and 4, blowing them out by a combined score of 12-1. Roberto Luongo who claims that goals Tim Thomas let in would be "easy saves" for him gave up a goal every 10 minutes in those two games. That's what is slowly but surely raising the Bruin fan psychosis threat level up to orange this morning.

The games in Vancouver have been nail-biters, which could have gone either way. The Bruins just happened to have lost all three of them. The two games in Boston were no-doubt-about-it beatdowns. The team with the B on their sweater has been so schizophrenic that their style of play in Vancouver has been barely recognizable when compared to their dominance at home. Going into this series the Bruins had been very strong on the road, going 5-3 against Tampa, Philly, and Montreal. After losing all 3 games in Vancouver their record now stands at 5-6. There is absolutely no sense to be made of it, either. Some key Bruins players are FROM Vancouver, so it's not like they're playing in China here, or some other ridiculous place that's never heard of hockey like say, Nashville.

So what is it? I'm stumped. All I know is that they CANNOT, they MUST not, and they WILL not let Alex Burrows hoist the Cup on the Garden ice tonight. They've come too far to allow such a grotesque spectacle of inhumanity to occur. Take a page from the Mavs book, and beat the team that everybody hates, please. It is waaaaaaaaaay too early for my summer to be ruined.

Go Bruins.

-Judge

The Window Closes

The Celtics window was only supposed to be three years.

Tango Is Down

A lot of my friends called me Sunday night to tell me that Osama Bin Laden got killed. I spent the evening out in the North End of Boston with my brother, his girlfriend, his best friend from college, my cousin, my mother and father, and my aunt. We were out celebrating my cousin and brother's birthdays. They were born on the same day, April 27th, three years apart.


On their actual birthday, I took them to the Garden to watch game 7 of the Bruins/Canadiens series. We had a blast cheering on the B's as they finally closed the door on Montreal for good in 2011. That night was just about the three of us, sitting up in the balcony, watching a hockey game and enjoying each other's company. Although no matter how nice it is when the three of us get together like that, we can never fully enjoy it. We can't because there is a fourth who is not at the game with us. His name was Matthew, and he was my oldest cousin on my mother's side. He was Jon's older brother, and he died in 2001 when a plane hit WTC1 where he was working for Cantor-Fitzgerald.


Matthew was a pretty impressive kid. He was really enthusiastic about what was going on in his life but he was also just as enthusiastic about what was going on in your life. His life was moving pretty quickly, too. He had graduated from the University of Vermont and scored a job on top of the world in New York City. He was living at his parent's house in New Jersey while he looked for a place near his big office in Battery Park, which meant he had to be up at 4AM every morning to get on the train in Morristown and join the circus that is the morning public transportation commute in Manhattan. Then he would take the elevator up to the clouds, where he was a young, promising bonds trader in a major New York company. Matthew loved his job. He was 23 years old.

That's Matthew standing behind us. I'm on the right in the green shirt, my brother, Doug, is in the yellow and Jon, Matthew's brother, is kneeling opposite me. Doug and I were raised in Massachusetts, Jon and Matthew in New Jersey. Our mothers are sisters, and their parents lived in Winsted, Connecticut which was a perfect meeting point for us on holidays. A nearly equidistant small town holiday destination for both of our families. That house saw decades of wonderful family parties and when we four boys got together it was always really, really fun. We remained very close through our teens and up through high school and the beginning of college. Even though Matthew was on the fast track to success we knew he would still be around for us. Especially Jon. Jon never questioned it.

On September 11th, 2001, I was a sophomore in college at the University of Colorado. I had a speech due in my public speaking class that morning. It was, ironically, a speech about my family, specifically the various Arcand family businesses. My roommate woke me up at 6am and we watched the news until he had to go to class at 9, my speech was due at 10. My mother called me as I sat alone on the couch, watching the events unfold. I asked her what floor Matthew's office was on, she said it was near the top.

I decided to go to class and give my speech. It went alright. I don't really remember giving it, but I remember that I wore an old work shirt from my father's restaurant. I remember going home and waiting in my room for the call that Matt made it out and was fine. The call never came.

I write about Matthew a lot. It is a helpful way for me to deal with what happened to him. The void he has left in our lives is still felt just as intensely as it was the day of his funeral in October of 01. Especially around this time of year. Jon, Doug, and I all live and work in the Boston area and although we're all quite busy with our various careers we make time to spend together. At dinner on Sunday, our big table of eight had a really fun time together. We told embarrassing stories about each other, we laughed, we reminisced, we smiled. We're a pretty fun family, all things considered.


Then as we were leaving the restaurant and went our separate ways, we all heard that a crew of US Navy Seals had killed Osama Bin Laden. The man responsible for killing our boy. I don't know exactly how everyone else reacted, but my reaction surprised me. I thought I'd be stoked. I thought I would have closure. I thought the news would make me feel good.


It wasn't any of those things. At most, I felt a sense of relief that a man as reprehensible as Bin Laden was no longer alive, but I never pumped my fist. I never cheered. I privately wished that his death was painful, that was about it.


If they had killed Bin Laden on September 12th 2001 it wouldn't have made me cheer. The fact that it happened 9 years later softens the blow all the more. Although I will say this, I give President Obama a LOT of credit here. What he did took some serious courage.

From what I've been following on the news, (and who knows, more details are sure to surface as time goes on) the US had been tracking one of Bin Laden's couriers. A tip they received from a Khalid Sheik Mohammed, or as he's known in certain circles "Carl From Aqua Teen Hunger Force".


So the CIA waterboarded this guy until he gave them the courier's name. They follow the courier to this compound, where they are almost positive Osama Bin Laden is hiding. President Obama then had a decision to make. He could bomb the compound, but he would have to do it without the Pakistani government's permission, and a bombing of a sovereign nation is a big conflict of interest for Obama right now.


Not to mention the fact that they might have dropped the bomb when Bin Laden was out getting a sandwich, and sparked an international incident. Even if they did bomb the compound and Bin Laden was in fact inside, it would be quite difficult to prove that he was actually killed, or even in there at all, since from what I understand, the US uses some pretty big bombs.


So what does Obama do? He sends in the freaking hit squad! A 20+ man team flies into Pakistan in a helicopter under the radar in the middle of the night. 40 minutes. Infiltrate. Acquire target. Firefight. Target down. Recover body. Capture hostiles. Extract.


I gotta admit, that's pretty goddamn cool. It sure beat the Saddam Hussein capture, where they found him living in a hole like a rodent. I have to say, I feel pretty good about being led by a President who was not afraid to send in the SEALS for a mission like this, a high profile mission with a lot at stake politically, fundamentally, and emotionally. Nice job, Mr. President.


But that's it. Aside from that, there is no joy in Mudville. Bin Laden is dead but there are plenty of people who have been taking his place for ten years now. And to anyone who thinks that this may lead to some sort of new attack on the US, give it a rest. These people weren't waiting around for us to kill Bin Laden before they attacked us. Their mission is pretty much ongoing.


Ours is too, and despite the fact that we've cut the head off of this snake there is little for me and my family to really celebrate here.


Oh, and I think those kids dancing on the White House lawn looked like idiots. However, to the people saying that they looked like middle easterners dancing in the streets when the towers came down, get a grip on reality. Cheering the death of thousands of civilians is a bit different from cheering the death of the guy who killed them all. Still, it's cheering death. I choose not to cheer death.


My mother told me once that when someone dies a good way to remember them is to live your life in a way they'd approve of. That's a bit tricky when it comes to some of my relatives from the older generations. I'm sure there is plenty about my life that they wouldn't approve of but that's not saying much. With Matthew, however, I do it subconsciously. Matthew was the oldest, and we all wanted to be like him. He got his license first, he was always listening to cool music. We tried to walk like him, talk like him, just be like him, and we still do. Even though we're now older than he was when he died, we still try to do things he would have thought were cool. We're still trying to impress him. I don't think Matthew would be impressed with the fact that we killed Bin Laden. He would probably be impressed with the details of the tactical strike, but I doubt the overall outcome would be something that really made him jump for joy.


As I pulled into my parking space, talking to an old friend from Colorado who had called me when she heard the news, I shut the engine off and said goodbye. I looked at my phone and saw that I'd missed several text messages from friends informing me about Bin Laden and a few missed calls as well when I was on the other line.


I sat in the car, and quietly wished that my cousin was still around.


RIP Matthew.




-Judge

Marathon Monday Musings

Another Marathon Monday has come and gone and the Boston sports pulse is racing right now. Before we dive into it, though, I just want to invite everyone out there who has stumbled upon this blog by accident or reads it loyally to take a look/listen to/at BostonSportsRadio.net and WGAM The Game. I'm on BSR doing the daily sports updates on Monday and Friday along with written updates and blog posts. There are a lot of excellent, young, up and coming sportscasters working on that website right now, and if you're like me, you can't get enough local sports coverage this time of year.

The website also features The Chris Arcand Show which is on a hiatus until Saturday and will also be broadcast live on WGAM The Game. 900 am in Nashua and 1250 in Manchester. It's an ESPN radio station and it also carries Sox games so if you are in southern/central New Hampshire check it out, or you can stream live online Saturdays from 4-6 EST. Sundays on WGAM you can hear myself and JJ Truman talking birdies and bogeys on The New England Golf Show from 10-11am EST as well. There aren't a lot of golf shows on terrestrial radio and there are some great stories on the tour right now. Also, if you live in the area we're going to be giving away lots of rounds at some of New England's best country clubs and courses.

Ok. Sorry about that. Marathon Monday......

Can you believe those underdog Kenyans pulled it out? Real Cinderella story there. Marathon Monday is a fun time in Boston because for every one of the 27 thousand runners out there taking their mark who have been training for months and are in the best shape they've ever been in, there are 100 Bostonians who have been drinking literally since they woke up, stumbling around Boston eating pretzels and bumping into people. I have never run in a marathon and I likely never will, but I must say props to everyone who participated in the race, especially those of you who participate in the race and then went out drinking afterwards. You know who you are, and you're awesome.

Along with the race, and the general feeling of cheeriness around town that surrounds it, (unless of course, you work in the city and didn't have the day off yesterday and had to commute) the Celtics, Red Sox, and Bruins all decided, for one 48 hour period, to stop screwing around.

Knicks/Celtics Game 1

Way WAAAAAY too close for comfort, but at this point in the season, I don't expect anything with to be "comfortable" with this team. Certainly not a first round matchup with a Knicks team that sacrificed all of its depth for a bona fide scoring machine and an aging, yet still serviceable point guard with a penchant for drilling daggers into the hearts of postseason opponents.

Unfortunately for New York it looks like Chauncey really messed his ankle up. If he does play I can't imagine he is going to be all that effective. And my god what happened to Carmelo Anthony? I recall some ugly games in Denver but 1-11 shooting in the second half? My word. I don't suspect Melo will be putting up another stinker like that this series but stranger things have happened.

Boston's big problem is going to stopping Amar'e Stoudemire. Jermaine O'Neal did a good job in his 22 minutes but Big Baby/KG/Nenad just can't hang. Especially when Amar'e is hitting his perimeter jump shots and can pull his man out of the paint. Containing Stoudemire is going to have to be the C's biggest concern tonight because with Billups out and Melo slumping there isn't anyone else on that team that can really hurt you. Except Toney Douglas. I'm kind of afraid of Toney Douglas. I'm hoping that it's all in my head.

I think tonight the Celtics win easily as New York tries to adjust to a Toney Douglas-run offense. I predict a lot of one-on-ones and I think the Celtics 2nd unit is going to step up big against New York's even more depleted roster. The Knicks traded their depth but in the playoffs depth is mostly overrated. I think it will play a reasonable factor tonight seeing as how they'll be without their starting point guard, but playoff rotations usually aren't more than 7-8 players anyway, so we'll see how it all shakes out tonight. I expect big nights from both Paul Pierce and Jeff Green, and I also think Rondo will have a much better game than he did last night, despite his near triple double. Celtics in 5.

The Red Sox Don't Suck?

Good news, everyone!

The Red Sox may not actually suck after all!

Jed Lowrie is massacring the ball right now. But much like the bad start, this sample size is a bit too small for me to start tap dancing yet. Lowrie hasn't been able to stay healthy yet in his career and while his numbers are gaudy so far I just keep waiting for that other shoe to come crashing down. Hopefully that will not be anytime soon. Watching him hit when he's on is a real treat, by the way. Kinda reminds me of late 90's Nomar.

My three biggest concerns from the pitching staff on opening day were Lackey, Papelbon, and Beckett. So far Papelbon and Beckett have been awesome. Lackey has been god awful and has his turn skipped in the rotation which everyone made far too big a deal out of. I was guilty of it as well, until I realized that bumping Lackey means that the rest of the staff doesn't have to push back a day, and that the big fella probably could use a week off.

It's also pretty amazing to me how much better Sox pitchers are with Varitek than with Saltalamacchia. I used to think the whole 'Tek calls a better game' argument was stupid, since these guys are all major league pitchers and didn't get where they were by pitching exclusively to Jason Varitek their whole lives. On the other hand, the results speak for themselves. Beckett has looked filthy so far and Tek even got a dominant start out of perpetually frustrating Daisuke Matsuzaka yesterday.

At what point does Francona have to act in regards to the Jason Varitek phenomenon? Does he at all? It's not like Tek is in any kind of shape to be playing a full season at catcher for us but if our pitchers are aces with him and Frank Castillo without him then what's a skipper to do?

The offense seems to be clicking which is nice. In a month or so we'll have forgotten all about the first three weeks of April.

Bruins Bite Back

We all know the Bruins can beat the Canadiens. That's what was so frustrating about games one and two in Boston. The Canadiens aren't that good. They're a bad matchup for Boston, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they're a contender. Carey Price looked like he had a powerful puck-drawing magnet on his chest in the first game and his confidence carried over into game two. The Bruins could not solve him, even when Bergeron scored Boston's only goal in game two he almost looked stunned that it went in.

I am still not excited about their offensive sets, they deviated a bit from the "defense slapshots from the point, rinse, repeat" set that they had grown so fond of which was refreshing and accounted for some new angles of attack on Price which the B's took full advantage of. Krecji had a great game. Still waiting for Milan Lucic to remove himself from milk carton status. 0 points, 0 on the +/- , 1 shot on goal. Come back, Looch. We need you.

Tim Thomas looked better than he did in the first two games but he still didn't look great. Still waiting on a dominant game from him. Tomorrow night would be nice.

And oh yeah, nice to have Chara back. The defense is incredibly shallow without him.

So things are looking pretty good on this fine Tuesday afternoon. The sun's not out, but the Sox, B's, and Celts all won their games, and with all the hysteria and uncertainty that those three teams have dragged us through as fans those three wins were very satisfying. It's hard to be down on a day like today, unless you're hungover from running in the marathon and then going out drinking. Now there's a hangover I hope I'll never have to suffer through, and I've suffered through some doozies.

Get'em, Celts.

-Judge

Red Sox Announce Opening Day Lineup

The Red Sox have announced their opening day lineup to the media this morning and it looks like this:

1. CF Ellsbury

2. 2B Pedroia
3. LF Crawford
4. 3B Youkilis
5. 1B Gonzalez
6. DH Ortiz
7. RF Cameron
8. C Saltalamacchia
9. SS Scutaro

P Lester

Take a good look at it. Revel in it's glory. Remember this feeling and savor it. Expectations for that lineup are as high as an elephant's eye and pretty much everybody who's ever written anything about baseball has picked the Red Sox to win the East, the AL, the World Series, the World Baseball Classic, the Futures Game, and the MTV Rock N Jock Softball challenge.

That being said, amidst all of the otherworldly predictions and projections this team might not be as bulletproof as everyone thinks.

For all of the ballyhooed free agent signings and trades that took place this offseason, there were a couple of things that did not change. Their names are Josh Beckett, Jon Lackey, and Jonathan Papelbon. Those three arms are expected to equal a significant portion of Red Sox innings pitched this season and frankly there is no real reason to expect drastic improvements.

Baseball Prospectus disagrees with me, however, as they have both Beckett, Lackey, and Papelbon bouncing back this season. BP also is predicting a regression from Clay Bucchholz and an increase in both ERA and WHIP from Jon Lester, not to mention 7 less wins for Lester than last season.

I'm not too worried about the pitching, though, because I feel like even if the bottom of the rotation doesn't impress the top still makes them a top 5 rotation in the majors. There is not much to bellyache about in the lineup either, although I cannot quite wrap my head around Crawford in the 3 spot all season long.

In theory, he's a great #3 hitter because a.) he's a fine hitter in his own right and b.) he sets the table for the ensuing pitcher's nightmare of Youkilis, Gonzalez, and Ortiz but I don't know. I'm of the belief that Gonzalez is going to settle into the cleanup spot with relative ease and will likely have sewn it up by mid-May. There's just something about bringing in two new guys to hit in the Giant Glass sponsored GIANT part of the order that doesn't sit right with me. I also feel like there is more pressure on Crawford than there is on Gonzalez, because Gonzalez is being asked to do something he does every year, whereas Crawford will likely be expected to outperform his projections (BP has him at .290/.341/.444 with 44 SB). Not to mention there's a guy named Kevin Youkilis who is a much more patient hitter than Crawford (not to mention right-handed), lurking in the cleanup spot until Gonzalez takes it over.

Now, of course the Cleveland Indians would love to have a problem like "Who to hit 3rd in the lineup, Kevin Youkilis or Carl Crawford" and if this is a problem there really isn't a problem but there is going to be a lot of pressure on the Sox this year, like there is with any team that gets universally predicted to breeze through a grueling professional athletic season. There will be hiccups, there will be slumps. There will be poor pitching performances, there will be blown saves, and there will be costly errors.

That being said, here is my predicted final standings for the 2011 AL East:

Boston 151-11
Tampa 82-80
Toronto 75-87
Baltimore 66-96
New York 25-137



Play Ball.


-Judge

Statement Made

 

From Johnny Boychuk's heat-seeking wrister in the first minute to Tyler Seguin's roof shot just after time expired the Bruins had one message for the rest of the league last night as they routed the Habs:  B Afraid.

Zdeno Chara shined the brightest last night, securing the 1 star with his 3 assists and inspired play on defense.  After the game he simply said "The game on the ice, that was my first priority."  He was not alone.  The entire Bruins team was focused last night.  They were sharp, they were alert, they were crafty, and they were on target.   The game resembled a 60 minute Boston power play, and the Bruins now sit poised to bulldoze their way into the playoffs with a big old chip on their shoulder.


Tim Thomas had a fine game but was only challenged a few times, the Boston defense was physical, but not overly so.  They chipped passes, they timed their hits, they threw a wrench in Montreal's offense that the Habs were never able to remove.   On offense, the Bruins were just marvelous.   They peppered the overworked Carey Price with 18 shots in t he first period, netting 3.   In the second period they added 11 more shots but failed to score, however,  the Habs never got off the mat.  The  fifth minute of the third period opened with two more goals for Boston, a wrister from Horton, his second of the game, and a tip-in by Adam McQuaid at 4:03 and 4:29, respectively.   The McQuaid goal chased Price from the net and gave us a rare Alex Auld sighting.  He did not fair much better, as the Bruins managed to light him up twice and end the game with an even touchdown, 7-0.

 

With the victory, the B's have now moved to 5 points ahead of Montreal in the Northeast and barring a major meltdown have all but sewn up the division.   The warning flags were flying high and proud lately but after a tumultuous week the Bruins seem to be hitting their stride.   They won their last two games against two tough teams by a combined score of 11-1.  The Habs, meanwhile, are on a two game shutout, having lost to Buffalo and now Boston by a combined score of 9-0.

Last night, the Bruins did what few imagined they could do.  They routed the Montreal Canadiens while not even approaching goon status.   They were faster, stronger, and more confident, and they got the Habs out of their game early and never let them back in.  When Campbell broke away while the B's were two men short and fired one past Auld for lucky number 7, the statement had been made.

The Bruins told everyone in the building and watching around the league that when they're on, they can beat you any way they want.   With the playoffs right around the corner, I think everyone from Montreal to Miami heard them loud and clear.

 

-Christian Arcand

email: CArcand@bostonsportsradio.net

I'll Stop The World

There's a commercial on tv that I really can't stand. It's for Hershey's chocolate, you have probably seen it.

This commercial bothers me because of the absolute butcher job those singers do on Modern English's "I Melt With You".

I know, right? Of all the songs to pick this fight with this one might be the corniest of all.

Modern English was a British New Wave band in the 80s that disappeared as quickly as they had arrived. In digging I found out that they recently reunited and actually toured last summer. That must've been a fun show. That's the kind of show you get really pumped up to check out, too. Like you can't wait to geek out when someone asks you what you're up to this weekend.....

"Where ya goin tonight, Christian?"

"MODERN ENGLISH PLAYIN AT THE CENTRUM, BRAH!!!!"

"Wow."

"I Melt With You" was Modern English's only hit. It was ranked 39th on VH1's best 100 songs of the 80s and it's been covered by dozens of artists.

I don't know why I care that Hershey's decided to use it in their ad either, as that very song has been used in ads by Burger King, Ritz Crackers, , M&M's, Taco Bell, and Vicks.

I've seen some of these ads, not all of them, but the one's that I have seen use the song as performed by Modern English, while this Hershey's one uses guest vocalists.

I don't know, maybe it's the soulless warble of the (I'm assuming) little girl who sings the first part, maybe it's the way "I'll melt with you" is echoed by another equally soulless (again, I'm assuming) older singer before they join together in a duet that just makes you want to kill yourself. They manage to absolutely slaughter a song that frankly, I didn't even really like that much to begin with.

Maybe it's the fact that the ad is on all the time. Maybe it's the unsettling expressions on the faces of the chocolate people in this strange little world that Hershey's has brought to our living rooms with this ad campaign. I get what they're going for, here. There's a woman and a small child jumping on a trampoline and then morphing into a big chocolate pool. Family. Togetherness. Times are tough. Appreciate the nice things in life. Playing with your daughter, eating Hershey's chocolate. I get it.

I guess the problem I have is that if you're going to cover a song for your ad campaign, try a little harder. Do the original at least a little bit of justice. I know the emotion Hershey's was going for here probably wasn't "British 80s New Wave" or anything but to take a song that was already pretty cheesy and turn it into THAT is just offensive.

I liken this to when the Black Eyed Peas started making this hilarious excuse for music that they've been doing for the past, I dunno, decade now.... (Jesus, really? It's been 11 years since Bridging The Gap? Yeesh) The Peas had a couple of good songs, but it's not like they were exactly beacons of hip hop integrity or anything. Sure, I miss the "BEP Empire" days but it wasn't surprising. It would've surprised me if Dead Prez did it, not the Black Eyed Peas.

It's kind of the same thing with 'I Melt With You'. The song didn't have a whole lot of integrity to begin with. For example, we all know the meandering, seemingly endless chorus, but these are the lyrics that open the song:

Moving forward using all my breath
Making love to you was never second best
I saw the world thrashing all around your face
Never really knowing it was always mesh and lace

This isn't exactly Bowie, here. It's not a bad song, or anything, it's just campy. It's everything the 80s were, and I know there are about 5 million songs that you can say that about but, well, "I Melt With You" is one of them.

That being said, "I Melt With You" deserved better than to get butchered by Hershey's like that. It's a fine song from an oft misunderstood era in music. An era that brought us everyone from the Talking Heads and U2 to the Divinyls and A-ha. An era littered with one-hit wonders and words like "synth" and "new wave". It wasn't perfect, but it was it's own thing. It wasn't a Hershey's commercial. It wasn't a mother-daughter duet.

I'm sure Modern English is crying all the way to the bank over this grotesque usage of their only hit. I'm sure that as they're drying their tears with their royalty checks they feel a shame only known to those who have seen their art become something cheap and kitschy. In other words, I'm sure Modern English doesn't give a fuck. And frankly, I shouldn't either, but for some dumb reason I kinda do. There is so much wrong in the world right now that I should write about if I'm gonna be writing about things that bother me but for some reason this just kinda sprung to mind today while I was watching college basketball.

By the way, St. John's, my pick in every bracket I entered this year to win the entire tournament, (thanks in part to my cousin's former clairvoyance as well as how easily they were able to get to the refs for that Rutgers game in the Big East tournament) lost already.

In the first round.

First goddamn round.

Anyways, that's all for today. Here's a tune to end on. Take a second to listen and appreciate it. It's not great, but I've seen the difference, and it's getting better, all the time.

-Judge

What's Wrong With The Celtics?

This post is perhaps a tad reactionary, however, my concern for the Celtics is at a very high level right now. They've lost three of their last four games to teams they should have beaten easily. We thought we were out of the woods when they laid a beating on Milwaukee Sunday, but as they are prone to doing on the second night of a back-to-back the C's laid an egg last night at the Prudential Center, falling to the new look, yet still 22-43, New Jersey Nets.

Are the Celtics feeling the effects of the Perkins trade? Well, yes and no.

Yes, with Kendrick Perkins in the middle, DeAndre Jordan probably would not have been dunking all over everyone like Wilt Chamberlain in high school last week in the Celtics 108-103 loss to the Clippers.

Although in fairness, Nenad Krstic has been a huge surprise thus far for Boston. It's been a while since we've seen an effective post game from the center position. The guy's not Robert Parish or anything but he has soft hands around the basket and can hit jumpers. His offensive rebounding alone has made up for what he lacks on defense in my opinion. The fact that he can score is an added bonus.

No, the loss of a hobbled Perkins and replacement with Krstic and the immortal Delbarton High alumnus Troy Murphy has not been what's ailing these guys. It's the loss of Nate Robinson.

Ok not really, but hear me out, here. Since Nate was traded on the 24th Rajon Rondo has been playing a lot. Maybe a bit too much. Not only are his minutes up he is on pace to score fewer points this year than he did in 07-08 and his free throw attempts are down dramatically. I have to believe that there's something wrong with Rondo, and thus, something very wrong with the Celtics.

We all know that scoring is not a huge part of Rondo's game, but driving to the basket certainly is, and even though his FT % is pretty bad he was still getting in the paint and getting to the line. This year his FT attempts are way down along with his scoring. For Rondo to be playing so often with a large piece of his offensive game absent is troubling. He is not sharp out there, he is not aggressive. He may be trying to play through an injury, in which case that is a different story but for god sake if he's hurt get him off the court.

I can deal with losing the one seed in the east but I cannot deal with having a hobbled Rajon Rondo come playoff time, and the Celtics can't either. Brrrrrr. The thought of it makes me shiver.

If you think the absence of Perk, or KG, or whomever was a real issue the past two postseasons just think about what this team will look like in a playoff series with Carlos Arroyo and Avery Bradley splitting point guard duties.

Carlos Arroyo hasn't been bad, either. But he's not a reasonable option at point if Rondo goes down. Nate wasn't either, really. But he could do things on the court that Rondo couldn't do, like shoot, for example. Arroyo does everything Rondo does, just not nearly as well. Avery Bradley doesn't really do anything yet, and Delonte West just can't stay healthy.

Whatever is bugging Rondo, I hope it clears up soon, and if he needs to sit, let him sit. There's still another month of basketball before the postseason gets here and this team is going to be relying heavily on Rondo this postseason just like they do every postseason, and every postseason Rondo shows why he's arguably the most valuable PG in the league. However, there's something wrong with him and all we can do is join hands and pray to the basketball gods that whatever it is its gone by April 13th. Otherwise this team is in a lot of trouble.

Then again, I think the Bulls are going to win it all this year anyway, no matter what happens with Rondo. I'm calling it now. Chicago is the most complete team in the league and I don't think it's close.

Also, I filled out my brackets today, I have St. John's winning in every pool I'm in for 2 reasons.

1.) They got to those three refs in the Big East tournament, they can get to everyone.

2.) My cousin picked them and my cousin is a freaking sports-picking rainman. He called the Texas/SF World Series, he called Green Bay winning the Super Bowl when the playoffs started and they barely squeaked in. I don't understand it. I think he's a wizard. Or an old version of himself came back in time and gave him the Gray's Sports Almanac. Or both.

Of course, now I probably jinxed him, but whatever, he was getting cocky.

-Judge

Zdeno Chara

On Tuesday night (March 8th) I was sitting on my couch watching the Bruins game. They were playing Montreal, one of their toughest match-ups, and they were just one OT loss to Pittsburgh removed from a 6 game road trip in which they won all 6 away games. A rare feat for any team in today's NHL.

The last time these two teams played was almost exactly a month ago in Boston, and they combined for 187 penalty minutes. The Bruins won 8-6, and the penalty boxes were overflowing with 5 minute fighting majors.

Well, the B's didn't have it on Tuesday. They were slow, they were clumsy, they made bad mistakes and they were totally unable to play their style of hockey effectively, while the Habs were doing everything right. They were faster, sharper, and way more organized than Boston on Tuesday. They managed to put 4 goals past the rusty Tuukka Rask by the second period.

Then, as I'm sure most of you have seen already, something horrible happened. The Bruins had the puck in Montreal's zone and were attempting to set up their offense when an errant pass dribbled up the left side. Zdeno Chara, Boston's larger than life defenseman, turned and made a beeline for the puck as it drifted back towards Boston territory.

As Chara turned, the speedy Montreal forward Max Pacioretty broke for the puck as well, trying to get around Chara's outside shoulder with an opportunity for a breakaway. Chara, who was now facing down ice, could sense Pacioretty coming up behind him and stuck his left arm out to slow him down. As the two men glided towards the boards, Chara finished his check by shoving Pacioretty towards the bench. Except on that one part of the rink, there is no board between player and bench, however there is a turnbuckle separating the two opposing benches. As Chara followed through on his check, Pacioretty's head went full speed into the turnbuckle.

The sound it made was haunting. It sounded like a slapshot hitting the crossbar. Chara's momentum took him past the Montreal bench which rose as one in reaction to the horrible sound. Pacioretty's momentum into the turnbuckle snapped his entire body around like a helicopter blade and he lifelessly fell to the ice. The camera zoomed in on Pacioretty as the Bruins commentators began immediately discussing if the hit was dirty or not. Pacioretty was not moving. He was face down on the ice but his head was tilted slightly so the viewer could see his face. His eyes were closed, there was drool coming out of his mouth, and he was completely non-responsive. The Bruins announcers took in this image and the tone of their chatter went from the legalities of the actual hit to "we really hope Max Pacioretty is ok", and though neither one of them said it, everyone watching thought the same thing : "I think Chara just killed Max Pacioretty"

Max Pacioretty was drafted by the Canadiens in the 2007 entry draft after an impressive career at Michigan. He was a stud in the AHL and was making some very positive contributions to the Habs this season. In a game 2 months ago, Pacioretty scored a goal on a nice wrister in OT to beat Boston and after scoring the game winner he shoved Chara as big Z skated away. Chara then skated up to the celebrating Montreal team and started challenging them even though the game was over. It ended pretty quickly and nothing really happened, just a chippy end to a game between to staunch rivals.

When Max Pacioretty woke up from the hit on Tuesday they were carrying him off the ice. Doctors who saw the hit as it happened didn't want to examine Pacioretty because of how gruesome it looked. Pacioretty was examined and diagnosed with a grade 4 concussion(which I was not even aware existed, I thought it only went up to 3), and a broken 4th vertebrae. The latter injury is oftentimes of the life-ending variety. However, Pacioretty was responding to questions and was able to move his arms and legs at the hospital.

From his hospital bed, Pacioretty expressed disappointment over the fact that Chara was not suspended. He was given a game misconduct but was not suspended by the league. They reviewed the hit, and determined that Chara did not intend to hurt Pacioretty. Pacioretty said that he thought Chara did it to him on purpose.

Zdeno Chara is the biggest player in the league. Literally. He is 6'9 without skates and with them he's over 7 feet. His presence on the ice is intimidating before he even puts his stick down. Chara's style of play has caused much frustration for Boston fans because while he is an elite defenseman with a murderous slapshot he doesn't generally play as big as he is. Especially not on Tuesday, March 8th. The Habs were skating circles around him and the Boston defense that night, lining up one-timers and sneaking in for rebounds almost at will while the Bruins struggled to stay in front of them.

One thing that I've heard a lot lately is that Chara should have known where he was on the ice and that he should have taken that into consideration before finishing his check. Well doesn't the same thing apply to Pacioretty to some extent? He knew he was skating along Chara's outside shoulder and that Chara wasn't going to just let him break away to the puck, yet he was going full speed in that direction knowing just as well as Chara knew that there was a big metal turnbuckle just a few feet away. Another thing to consider is that Chara was not facing the boards, or Pacioretty when he made the hit. He was facing up ice.

I know Montreal doesn't want to hear it, but the NHL did the right thing here. Chara's no headhunter, and he certainly doesn't ever try to injure people, if anything he's the opposite. The antithesis of a guy like Chris Pronger who throws his size around and does whatever he wants. Chara plays like he is very aware of his size and strength on the ice and sometimes goes out of his way to contain himself, because a reckless hit from a 7 footer is a little different from your average reckless hit. There are guys in the league like Matt Cooke who look for opportunities to injure people, guys like Sean Avery and Steve Downie who cheap shot opponents like it's going out of style. Chara has never been one of those guys. Chara could never be Chris Simon. It's just not in his makeup as a hockey player, and the people who were in charge of making this decision most definitely knew it.

In 2007 Patrice Bergeron was boarded head first by then Philadelphia defenseman Randy Jones. Bergeron was taken off on a stretcher and missed the rest of the season. Jones apologized at the next intermission. It was clear to me that he didn't mean to hurt Bergeron. I was pissed off that Bergeron was out for the year, and pissed at Jones because he was the reason, but I also understood that it wasn't that bad of a hit and that Jones was not the type of player who tries to injure his opponents.

What Chara was guilty of was interference. You can't impede the progress of a player without the puck like that. It's a 2 minute minor penalty, and Chara was smart to risk it with a speedy guy like Pacioretty about to blow past him. It was a heartbreaking result of a normal hockey play that just happened to occur at the worst possible place on the ice.

It is unclear as of this posting if Pacioretty will ever be able to play hockey again, although I hope he recovers, I'm sure Zdeno Chara hopes that he does as well. After the play, they cut to Chara a few times before he was escorted out for his game misconduct and the look on his face was pretty telling. He had checked a fleeing forward like that a million times, never once did he probably even consider that he might accidentally throw a guy's head into the turnbuckle, but he did.

However, I would say to those angry at Chara to keep in mind that they all play an incredibly fast, incredibly violent game. And there are players who actually go out of their way to hurt people in the league. Chara isn't one of them, save the hate for the ones who deserve it.

-Judge

Hate Speech

I watched a video the other day that really bugged the crap out of me. There was a fundraiser in Yorba Linda, California about a month ago which was held by ICNA Relief, a Muslim relief organization. The event was protested heavily. A video of the protesters began circulating and has no gone full-on viral, here it is :

Outrageous, right? Yelling at kids and families like that? Absolutely no excuse for such disgusting behavior.

That being said, I have no problem with people protesting this event.

ICNA Relief is a noble organization that does some wonderful charity work, however, the keynote speak for the fundraiser was this guy:

So.....yeah.

Those people walking into a fundraiser did not deserve to get screamed at by a bunch of dickbag tea party assholes but what in the holy hell is the ICNA doing inviting Abdel Malik Ali to speak at their dinner?

In a nutshell, a bunch of assholes acted like assholes over the fact that some other asshole was speaking at a fundraiser. Wonderful.

I see nothing wrong with people protesting an event where Abdel Malik Ali is a keynote speaker. I'll just never understand how acting like an even bigger jerkoff than the guy you're protesting makes any sense whatsoever.

This is why we can't have nice things.

-Judge

Wes Leonard

I'm sure this story will have made it around the internet by tonight (I just saw a segment on it on Sportscenter this morning) but Fennville high school basketball player Wes Leonard hit a game winning shot to propel his Blackhawks to victory over the Bridgman Bees. The victory also put the Blackhawks record at 20-0. Twenty wins, zero losses. And it was Wes Leonard who sealed their place in Michigan Class C history.

After the game he was hoisted in the air by his teammates. The packed Fennville gymnasium erupted as their boys clinched a perfect season. During the celebration, Leonard went into cardiac arrest and collapsed in front of his teammates as well as a stunned audience of just previously giddy Fennville fans.

He was rushed to a local hospital where he died a few hours later. The cause of death is not yet known.

That picture is from the post-game celebration. One second he was smiling in the air with his teammates and the next second he was gone. For that family to lose a son at 16 is absolutely devastating. Nothing will ever replace the void Wes will leave in their lives, and nothing anyone can say or do will ever soften the blow of losing their boy. Although if they ever reach the point of being able to take solace in any part of this tragic loss I would hope that they see the beauty in the way Wes Leonard died.

It is certainly not something that is readily noticeable. Especially not right now, as all of the future buzzer beaters, birthdays, graduations, jobs, first cars, first apartments, and first dates have been erased. For a kid that young to die so unexpectedly, there is nothing in the world that makes any sense about it. Especially a kid as healthy and impressive as Wes Leonard. The only thing about Leonard's death that is not saddening is that Wes Leonard died a winner.

It doesn't seem like much, however the last thing Wes Leonard did in his life was win. His game winning shot completed an undefeated season for the Blackhawks. His last memory will be of winning the game. Nobody can ever take that away from him, either. People will remember the story of Wes Leonard for generations. It is a terribly sad story, yet Wes Leonard's name will forever be associated with winning, and not Charlie Sheen's interpretation of winning. Actual winning.

I hit a game winning shot for my middle school JV basketball team when I was 12 and let me just tell you that few things in the world will ever feel as good as that felt. If I had dropped dead on that gym floor back in 1995 I would have died with a giant smile on my face. Nothing in the world feels quite like that, especially at that age.

Wes Leonard went out on top. When people talk about Wes Leonard, they are going to talk about what could have been, and how sad it is that it never will. They are also going to talk about how right before he died he started off going left before crossing over to his right hand and blowing by his defender to the hoop where he softly laid the ball up and through the net to seal his team's undefeated season. They will talk about how he won the game for the Blackhawks.

Now, I don't necessarily subscribe to the theory of "Winning Is Everything" and I hope my sentiments aren't coming off that way. Winning is important, but so is losing. Life is all about winning and losing and most of us just want to win a few more than we lose before they put us in the ground.

Wes Leonard went out a winner. And really, that's all any of us are trying to do.

RIP Wes Leonard

-Judge

All He Does Is Win

I didn't watch the Charlie Sheen 20/20 special. I didn't watch it for a couple of reasons.

#1

Absolutely no need to, because everybody I know and even a good chunk of people whom I do not know have been belting out Sheen's "greatest hits" all over the internet. It's like the "Borat-quoting" phenomenon on steroids. Balco steroids. The good stuff. I've seriously heard or read every single thing this man has said in public for the past 72 hours every time I look at my computer screen, phone, tv screen, or turn on my radio. I mean, seriously.

#2

I'm not all that into this Charlie Sheen thing. I'm just not. I realize I'm fighting an uphill battle here but I think this entire Charlie Sheen saga is pretty sad. It's either sad for us because he's doing a schtick and we're all falling for it or it's sad for him because he's got some serious issues dealing with his need to self-medicate which are likely tied into some sort of disorder that deals with an extreme of moods.

It's an extreme uphill battle I'm fighting because let's face it, Sheen is gold right now. It does not even matter who is putting the microphone under him he is just a blathering rapid-fire coke-jaw goldmine of comedic brilliance as he stands proudly upon his mountain of drugs with his nose in the air, defying all 21st century stereotypes of what a person with a crippling personality disorder and even more crippling drug addiction should look like.

I'm not into it because part of me really feels bad for the guy.

I don't like watching car wrecks. When I see a car crash on the side of the road I try not to look at it, I don't want to see a dead body that badly.

And with Sheen it's like he hasn't even crashed yet, it's like we're watching him snowmobile down Mount Everest with no breaks and are just waiting to see where his body ends up.

I'm not mad at people who are enjoying the Sheen because let's face it, this is a genuinely rare time in American pop culture. Charlie's out there, rolled up hundo in one hand and Bree Olson in the other, and we all have to deal with it.

I guess I've just seen things similar to this in the past, not too similar, because I mean, what in the hell could possibly be similar to Charlie Sheen over the past week? But similar in that I've been around people who exhibit self-destructive tendencies and fall into these addictions and it always ends horribly.

And for all the fanfare Sheen's been getting people seem to forget that he got arrested for trying to knife a hooker, then he got kicked off his incredibly successful and financially lucrative television program, and now he's in the midst of a media blitz in which everyone observing thinks he's a retarded lunatic who will be dead soon.

Some call it winning, I call it morose. Po-tay-to, Po-tah-to

-Judge

One Minute and Forty Nine Seconds Of Donald Glover Crying

This dude is a genius.

Carmelo Anthony and the NBA Trade Deadline

Deadline Deals: The Good And The Bad

The NBA is in a good place right now. The league is very young, very athletic, and about as star-studded as it's ever been. Plus the big name players are pretty much running the show both on the court and off and frankly I'm fine with that. At Carmelo Anthony's wedding rumors flew about how Melo, Chris Paul and Amare were plotting to join forces in Manhattan and create their own NBA Jam team to contend with the explosive Miami Heat trio and Boston's balanced attack. Well, they are 2/3rds of the way there, Melo is a Knick.

Carmelo Anthony, Chauncey Billups, Shelden Williams, Anthony Carter and Renaldo Balkman to NEW YORK for Raymond Felton, Danilo Gallinari,Wilson Chandler, Timothy Mozgov, and 3 future draft picks (one first rounder, two second rounders)

WHY THIS IS GOOD FOR DENVER:

Deep down everybody knew Melo wasn't going to resign in Denver. There was no chance of this and everybody knew it, everybody except James Dolan and Isiah Thomas, that is. More on that later.

Considering that Denver's options were to let him play out the year and lose him for nothing or close on a deal that gives them some great young players who are ready to contribute now and not in a year or two made this kind of a no-brainer. It's kind of a bummer to lose a hometown hero like Chauncey (again....) but I have a feeling that the combo of Ty Lawson and Raymond Felton is going to dry those tears real quick. Actually right now the Nuggets probably have as much depth at the guard position as any team in the league. Lawson, Felton, Smith and Afflalo is a really stellar collection of guards and adding Gallinari to the frontcourt with Chandler, Martin, Anderson, and Nene is on paper a great new dimension to the offense. (Although rumor is that he'll be traded to the Clips)

Time will tell if the Nuggets gel with their new look but there is no reason to think that they won't. Opposing backcourts are NEVER going to get a break when they play Denver now, and that's something that few teams can boast. Also, I have a hunch Denver's not done dealing yet. I know it can be rough losing you superstar and local hero in one fell swoop like this but I have a feeling the Nuggets just got a whole lot better.

WHY THIS IS GOOD FOR NEW YORK

Well, they got Carmelo Anthony, and he's pretty good. So is Chauncey Billups. The Knicks sacrificed some of their youth and all of their depth to land Melo and since there is no guarantee (wink wink) that he would have signed in the offseason they did what they had to do. Let me put it this way, the Knicks weren't going to win anything this year with Felton and Gallinari, and they're not going to win anything with Melo and Stoudemire, but when the postseason comes around it's not like 'Melo and 'Mare are going to be taking extended breaks anyway, especially not now.

One thing I worry about is Melo's post game. His mid-range game is about as good as there is in the NBA right now. Maybe even the best. However his post game is a big part of his offensive identity and I just don't see him getting many touches down low when Stoudemire is on the court with him.

That being said, that's a great problem to have, and if last night's debut game was any indicator this Knicks team is going to be a lot of fun to watch and #1 and #7 are going to score a LOT of points.

Deron Williams to NEW JERSEY for Devin Harris, Derrick Favors, and 2 First Round Picks

Whoa.

Avery Johnson may insist that this is not "plan b" but, well, it's plan b. It's totally plan b.

And it's not a terrible plan b either, but good god, Harris, Favors, AND 2 first rounders? NBA draft picks just aren't that valuable anymore I guess. Great haul for Utah.

Baron Davis + 1st round pick to CLEVELAND for Mo Williams and Jamario Moon

Poor Baron Davis. He has a terrible contract but that's not his fault. He gets hurt a lot and that's kind of his fault but it's gotta really suck to go from tossing alley-oops to Blake Griffin to going through the motions on a dead end squad like the Cavs.

Mo Williams must be pysched though. Running the break with Griffin, Moon, and DeAndre Jordan is gonna be all sorts of fun. Good move for the Clips. Hard not to like what's going on over there.

And finally......

Kendrick Perkins and Nate Robinson to OKLAHOMA CITY for Jeff Green, Nenad Krstic and a 2012 1st Round Pick

WHY THIS IS GOOD FOR BOSTON

Jeff Green is a stud. He's a tall, athletic, developing wing who can shoot, drive, and post up. He's also 24 years old. It's a touch ironic that the Celtics traded him for Ray Allen (he was the 5th pick in the 2007 Oden/Durant draft) a few years ago but this is a quality player here. He can rotate with Pierce and Garnett and assuming the Celtics ink him to a deal after this season (he's an unrestricted free agent at the end of the year) I am pretty happy knowing that both he and Rondo will be there when the Big 3 finally hang it up.

That being said....

WHY THIS IS BAD FOR BOSTON

The Celtics went from having a deep rotation of big men to a shallow, horrendous rotation which will probably include several NBDL-level players whose sole purpose will be to foul Dwight Howard 6 times a night.

Perkins was never an offensive option. The man played in the league this long and never developed one single post move. Not one. Ever. However, what he lacked in scoring he made up for in offensive rebounding, court awareness without the ball, and setting off-ball screens.

His presence on defense is going to leave a pretty gaping void, unfortunately, and with Shaq Diesel and Jermaine as our two principle options at the 5 it doesn't seem like there's any big light at the end of the tunnel. Of course contracts can still be bought out but the names floating around now such as Troy Murphy and .... well...... Troy Murphy don't really set my toes a-tapping.

Overall I'd say this trade is not the end of the world, but it is confusing. Very confusing. Even with the assumption that we weren't going to re-sign Perk. Maybe this recent injury is worse than we thought. Maybe Shaq is ready to roll. I'll give Ainge the benefit of the doubt here because he has more than earned it but losing Perk means losing a presence in the middle that confounds Dwight Howard and puts up a fight underneath against Bynum and Gasol. That is pretty hard to replace. If not impossible.

Farewell, brother. You are already missed by teammates and fans alike. I hope that something is done to replace some of the things that you brought to the team, though to say I'm optimistic would be a fib.

Let's just hope it doesn't come to this:

-Judge